WATCH My Cousin

A while back, I did a report on my cousin Michael Strong. What separates him from everyone else is that due to thalidomide poisoning, he was born without arms, and so he has had to use his feet in place of his arms. Another cousin of his posted a Youtube video of Mike shooting a handgun with his feet. Just click RIGHT HERE to watch it.

McDonald's: I'm Shovin' It

Well, for those who care (which I doubt is a whole lot), I have just finished my last day of employment at McDonald’s. It has been about a couple of months since I had my first day. It was alright at first, but I just kept enjoying it less and less, not to mention that I was already unhappy before I got the job. More hours, more responsibilities, and even more anxiety kept rolling in, and I realized that it was only going to get worse. It was so bad that I kept suffering from acid reflux due to the anxiety. So for the sake of both my physical and mental health, I decided that enough was enough; I have some money saved up, so I shouldn’t worry financially. It is probably for the best since next semester is going to have more days and hours. So now that I’m a jobless bum, I’ve decided that I’m going to find something to be happy about, perhaps find ways to improve my social life (or shall I say ‘lack thereof’). Well whatever I do, once thing’s for certain: now that I’m not working at McDonald’s, I can grow my beard back.

POACHING WTF

In a previous blog, I ranted about the acts of animal cruelty that people at my old high school like to engage in known as “possum kicking”; those who commented gave some very insightful responses (even though you mentioned Speedy, who was not at all who I was talking despite having attended the same school as me). I also mentioned how this type of rural and idiotic behavior is common with the youth where I live, and while it could be considered stereotyping, but trust me, it really is that bad. There is a growing redneck epidemic at my old high school; it was bad my senior year, and has only been getting worse: camouflage hats all over the place (even my senior homecoming), players were partying and getting drunk before a big football game, and if you think that possum kicking was bad, then listen to this: a group of boys at the high school were recently busted for poaching; they would kill deer out of season and just leave the bodies. I was not surprised when I learned about the names of those responsible, in fact, on my senior year, I heard about a guy who chased down a small deer and slit its throat, and while that sounds awesome from a primal male perspective, it is still just awful. I doubt that other high schools deal with students poaching. Everyone says that the reason for all this is because there is nothing else for young people to do. All I can say is ‘hide your fawns, hide your does, and hide your bucks too, because they’re killing everything out there.’

Top 5 Philosophical Movies

While in my philosophy class, I can’t help but to take notice of all the movies I have seen that have philosophical value. So here are the top five philosophical movies that I have seen.

5. Up: Up follows an old widower who goes after a dream that he and his late wife shared of living somewhere in the Amazon; he pursues this goal by getting numerous helium balloons and flying his whole house there, with a chubby kid accidentally in tow. This movie takes a look as to how people handle grief, as well as the importance of our life experience. To quote the Aerosmith song “Amazing”, “Life’s a journey, not a destination.”

4. The Invention of Lying: In an alternate reality where only the truth is told, one man learns to lie. This movie states that despite the negativity of it, lying is a huge part of being human; without it, we wouldn’t have fiction, flattery, or religion (the movie leans towards atheism). Plus lying allows us to see the world as it can be, not just as it is.

3. The Matrix: A movie that warps your perception of reality, The Matrix shows the possible deceptions of reality, and how we don’t truly know it. It also asks whether the harsh truth is better, or is ignorance really bliss.

2. Clerks: A low budget comedy exploring the monotonous life of an average guy working a dead-end job. This movie observes how we see life from an emotional stand point; plus, it also shows how the choices we make in life determine it.

1. Seven: This movie is about a serial killer whose murders are based on the seven deadly sins. Other than observing why the seven sins are “deadly”, the movie take a good look at the problem of evil, and why exactly it exists. Watch this movie with caution, there's a penis blade (adds another four inches of death), but the movie's ending will leave you speechless.

WANTED: Answer To Facebook Question

I’ll start this blog off with a confession: I don’t have a Facebook page. Even I don’t know exactly why I refuse to get one; I think I’m just being anti-hype, but living in the middle of nowhere will do that to you I guess, in fact, the only reason I even have this blog is because I don‘t want to fail any classes. Both my mom and sister have Facebook pages, so just think about that: my mom is being more modern than me, how odd does that sound. My mom’s been on my ass lately about getting my own page in order to help my social life (or rather lack thereof), which sounds somewhat promising, but I’ve been hearing on the news lately about these privacy issues that Facebook users have been facing, not to mention that crazy bitch who shook her baby over Farmville. So with all that out of the way, I have a few questions for all the Facebook users out there: Would getting a Facebook page be worth it? Does it live up to the hype, or is it more of a nuisance? If anyone reading this has an answer, please don’t hesitate to comment. Any answer will be appreciated.

I Saw RODNEY CARRINGTON

This weekend, my parents and I went to Cape Girardeau to see Rodney Carrington. For those uninformed, he’s a comedian/singer whose primary demographic consists of rednecks (I know I often point out my disdain for anything related to the redneck lifestyle, but I am a guy who enjoys all comedy); he’s toured all over, been in some music videos, had his own sitcom for a short time, and co-wrote and starred in “Beer for my Horses” with Toby Keith. We originally bought the tickets in April (around my birthday), but the show got moved to late October (six months, what the hell).
When we took our seats, there was a screen that was playing clips of Rodney’s best performances. Here’s an example that will make anyone smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quSoadS5Znc&feature=related

When the show started, it opened with this guy Craig Peters; this guy was hilarious, and I especially enjoyed him talking about Missouri drivers( he said “I had one driver that was so angry, he threw a kitten at me”. He put on a good thirty minutes.
When Rodney took the stage, he immediately got the audience hooked. He runs on stage with this “skatin’ music” playing, and he’s like “You like that African music? You voted for four years of that shit.” Clearly he knows his audience. He ranted on subjects like sex, church, family, and the time he went to Toby Keith’s “house”. Overall, it was a good time.

I’m Going Crazy

Once again, I really have nothing to type about, so I’m just going to vent. At this time in my life, I really have nothing going for me; all there is for me to do is school and work. The only possible activities available for my current area of residence are typical redneck stuff, which as mentioned in a previous blog, is not my cup of tea (I don’t like tobacco juice in my tea). As I wait until I can transfer to a university, I keep thinking that if I don’t find anything to do, then the next two years of my life will continue to be as monotonous as the present. I feel like I’m going to go crazy if I can’t find anything enjoyable. So here’s my question: What exactly is there to do on campus? Are there any clubs for example? Any answers would be appreciated.

Also, here’s a little heads up on what I might blog about next:

-This Saturday, my parent’s and I are going to see Rodney Carrington, so that’s possible subject matter.

-If I can talk a friend into joining me, I’m going to watch The Human Centipede (If you haven’t heard of it, it’s infamously disturbing). I’m going to see how much of it I can take, and maybe even record my response.

Hollywood Stop, Just Stop

I have nothing to write about, so I’ll just rant.

As movies come and go, some turn out to be shining examples of cinematic glory, while others are crap. A lot of these movies are based on comics , cartoons, books, games, etc.; these types of movies usually turn out to be crap, usually because they don’t stay loyal to the original material, or the original material just wasn’t meant for the big screen. A while back I saw a trailer for the new Yogi Bear movie, and in the spirit of bad bear puns, I have to say that the movie looks un-BEAR-able; It’s too bad since the voice acting looked promising (Dan Aykroyd as Yogi & Justin Timberlake as BooBoo). There’s even a Smurfs movie coming out (Katy Perry as Smurfette, no telling how that’s gonna turn out) that will probably be crap. So here’s my point: Hollywood needs to stop raping America’s childhood; they should either do it right or not do it at all (please lean towards the latter). All this does is show a lack of creativity in the one place where creativity is most useful and needed. Hell, I can do a better job than these undeserving, unoriginal idiots. This concludes my brief rant on Hollywood.

R.I.P. Greg

As I sit here watching The Daily Show, I heard Jon Stewart mentioned the death of comedian Greg Giraldo; at first, I assumed he was joking, but since my laptop was next to me, I decided to check online and it turned out to be true. As a fan of all comedy, I know of him and his comedy and personally, I found him to be very funny. He was a veteran of Comedy Central; one thing he was known for was his numerous appearances on Comedy Central Roasts. He was a "lesser known" comedian (and other comedians would mention that in there own routines), but believe me when I say that he was good. He died on September 29 due to an overdose on prescription drugs; he usually joked about his drug addiction in his stand up routine, so I can't say that I didn't see it coming. To me, this is another sign of the world ending; the economy is crap, the Tea Party is getting bigger, the world is running out of helium, and now Giraldo is dead. The comedy world has suffered a great loss, and the world is laughing a little less. Greg Giraldo, you will be missed; Comedy Central's next roast just won't be a roast without you.

Possum kicking! Are you f***ing serious?

All my life, I’ve been surrounded by rednecks, both in my school and family. At a certain point, I tried being more of a redneck, and I somewhat succeeded, but I just didn’t have that redneck mindset (meaning that I actually like using my mind). Other than my Social Anxiety, the fact that basically everyone’s basic activities are hunting, fishing, chewing, drinking, mudding, and whose only political concerns are guns and skin color (sorry Obama) has made it hard for me to fit in. There’s one other rural activity I learned about a while back that can be added to the list, and it’s “Possum kicking”. I thought it was a joke when my friend told me about this idiotic and cruel game, but unfortunately, it is no joke. The way this game is played is that teams are split and people drive around a wooded area (likely drunk) looking for possums so they can run up to them and “kick the crap out of them”. Possums are worth one point, and raccoons are worth two; whoever has the most points wins. Personally, I’ve always hated living where I live and I hope to leave as soon as possible, but hearing about this display of cruelty just makes me more anxious to leave this place in my rear view.

First Week at McDonald’s

As the title suggests, I have just completed my first week at McDonald’s. It felt weird since I haven’t had an actual job in over a year, mainly due to high school and this ‘losing game’ know as the economy. I’ve applied for numerous positions in both Chester and Red Bud, but in the end, Red Bud McDonald’s was the only place to call back. Everyone who works there seems nice, I just hope that it lasts. The only part I didn’t enjoy was having to shave off my chinstrap, but in life, you have to make sacrifices. On my first days of the ‘hands on’ training, I was nervous as hell, but luckily Scott from my Philosophy class was my trainer for the day. What I think is cool is that there’s this other new guy whose from India; his name is Utsuv (pronounced “oots-uv”, I’m fairly certain). First a Nigerian Geography teacher and now an Indian coworker,I have to say that after growing up surrounded by nothing but racist redneck idiots, even a little bit of diversity is just refreshing, but that’s another blog. Overall, I’ve learned a lot from my first week, and even if I had anything negative to say about McDonald’s, I wouldn’t because that wouldn’t be safe for work.

Popeye Picnic

This weekend, the 31^st Annual Popeye Picnic was held in Chester, IL. The picnic is held every second weekend of September, which in this year, was on the 10th, 11th(which felt a bit awkward), and 12^th, ranging from Friday evening to Sunday evening. The picnic is held in honor of Popeye the Sailor Man, who was created in Chester by Elzie Segar. Chester, by the way, is one of two towns in Illinois to be the origin town of a famous cartoon icon, with the other town being Metropolis, which, If you haven’t guessed by now, is responsible for Superman.

Friday night usually goes pretty slow with not as much people around, but that means the rides aren’t as crowded; Saturday morning is alright if you want to see the parade, but speaking from a personal stand point, sleeping in is way better, especially when you’re too old to catch the candy thrown by the paraders. Saturday night is the best time forgoing to the picnic; the band is playing, more familiar people show up, and I witnessed a drunk fight/arrest. Sundays,however, are especially slow.

 I went to an event they have every picnic Saturday called “Cartooning with the Pros”. I’ve been going to it since I was ten, and I brought back a prize each time.

Overall,  it can be a good time for anyone, no matter how drunk or sober.

The Big Davitzski

Today I’ve done something that strikes me as both cool and uninteresting; I went to Dudeism.com and became an ordained dudeist priest.

Dudeism is a religion/philosophy that resulted for the 1998 movie The Big Lebowski. This movie, with the casting of Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Bushemi, Julianne Moore, John Turturro, and Sam Elliot (as a cowboy, what else), is about Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski, a typical hippie slacker with an easy going approach to life who gets roped into a crazy scandal after some thugs mistake him for a millionaire (and one of them urinated on his rug, which really “tied the room together”), but despite the insane series of events, he keeps his lazy, harmonious state of mind in tact. The cult following (‘cult’ probably isn’t the best word to use when talking about a religion, but I digress) that resulted from this film was mainly do to the likeability of “The Dude” and his philosophy of kicking back and enjoying life. This philosophy led to the creation of Dudeism. Dudeism is basically a modern combination of Taoism and Buddhism (Buddhism, Dudeism, get it). Dudeists believe that ‘taking it easy’, and not stressing out is the best way to be happy, not to mention doing what you enjoy. For example, The Dude enjoys, white russians, marijuana, listening to music, and bowling; that doesn’t mean you have to, just do whatever makes you happy (unless it’s criminal). To me, this is a good religious and philosophical direction to go in, simply because dudeist won’t nail anyone to a wooden cross, put together an inquisition, or commit genocide via plane crashes because those thing go against the good willed nature of Dudeism. Becoming an ordained dudeist priest is easy, literally anyone can do it, all I had to do was point and click.It really isn’t something to take too seriously, but it shouldn’t be too hard to preach Dudeism, because I just did; and to all you bible thumpers who are probably planning to write nasty comments against my ‘blasphemy’, just listen to this: Many religious figures are considered dudeists due to their philosophical zen, ecspecially Jesus Christ. So in conclusion, being ‘Dude’ doesn’t mean you’re an unambitious, lazy slacker, it just means that you can kick back and enjoy the little things in life, and in a way, isn’t that all any of us wants, dude.

P.S. I decided that “The Big Davitzski” would be my title since believe it or not, that was my families surname back in Poland, but despite being Davitzski and Polish, I can find any evidence of Judaism in my family, go figure.